The Truth Burns
by rachelcullen77
Summary: My entry for the Expolation of the Senses contest. Jacob tries to deal with the pain of losing Bella. Disclaimer: I dont own anything twilight.


**Title:The Truth Burns**

**Pen Name: rachelcullen77**

**Sense: Sight**

**Genre: canon**

**Characters: Jacob**

**One-shot for the Exploration of the Senses contest by cdunbar and Helliex88**

**Enjoy!**

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JACOB

I could still feel it. The pain I'd thought I'd left behind.

I was running. Running I don't know where but I kept going. I couldn't look back. The past was the past and I couldn't stop it.

But the past came with me.

She was everywhere. Everywhere I looked I saw her beautiful pale face. I saw her smile, her deep, deep eyes that never said what I wanted them to. Even when I closed my eyes, she was still there. It was like she was branded with fire onto my eyes. It hurt so much every time I saw her, which meant all the time. My heart was ripped to pieces again every time she turned the corner to see me. Because when I saw her, it meant I'd lost. I'd fought my hardest, I'd given her everything and yet she gave me nothing in return. She still chose him.

I couldn't say her name; the pain would be too great. Remembering her touch made me want to just sit down and dream.

I could still feel her on my lips, her hands running over me, before she went off to him, and I went off to fight.

For her.

And yet even then, at the end of everything, he won. And so I had to go. I had to leave. I couldn't stay in the place that reminded me so much of what could have been. And so I ran and ran and ran, hoping to shake off my memories. But nothing worked. I could still see her, I could still feel her and I could still hear her.

From Seth's mind, way back in Forks, I was subjected to hearing her voice, hearing her cry, wishing me to come back. But how could I go back to her? She knew how much pain she put me through, and yet she still wanted me there. How could I watch her end her life? How could I watch her be taken away from me forever?

I knew it was only a short time before it would happen. Even the treaty couldn't stop them for changing her. But they would fight. And she would fight with them, against her friends. That's why I couldn't go back. I would go back to fight. And I couldn't fight against her.

_Jake, please come home._

I growled and pushed myself forwards, catching glimpses of her running beside me, her skin pale and cold, her teeth dripping with blood.

_Jake it's her wedding tomorrow. Please come back, you know how much she would want you there._

I ignored the voice in my head, and the pictures it made me remember but I couldn't ignore the person in front of me. She was laughing and smiling and having the time of her life. I turned away and ran in the opposite direction. But she was there too.

I growled and lunged towards her but she was too fast and she laughed as I chased her through the fields. She laughed as she floated along in a different world. She laughed at my pain and told me I could fix it.

"Just go back," were the three simple words I heard her say again, and again, and again.

The words were repeated by Seth in my head and I growled at them both, trying to focus on anything but the two people in my head. One twisted my heart and the other just made the pain worse by bringing back memories. I didn't slow down and I kept my eyes ahead as she danced along beside me. I heard her tinkling laugh and her words.

"I love you Edward."

I howled as I ran and the girl beside me laughed as she danced over my shattered heart and broke it into more pieces. She ran up to me and I held my eyes shut but my body started burning.

I opened my eyes and saw the vision in front of me reach out and touch me. I howled in anguish and the beautiful angel laughed and did it again. So I turned and ran.

She cheered and ran with me, guiding me the whole way. When I was too tired to run anymore I laid down, still in my wolf form and fell into a disturbed sleep. My dreams were full of the dancing girl, her long brown hair flowing around me and frowning at me, telling me to get up and run. My eyes were burning and my skin was burning with the memories of everything we had been through.

When I woke up the sun was just rising and the vision of her urged me to get up and run again. She came with me, telling me to keep going, that I would make it.

And that's how I found myself back in La Push, just in time for her wedding. I didn't talk to Billy. I changed back and lay down and wept for her. I was blinded by her and my love for her for like a fire burning inside me. I told myself I had lost, but then I couldn't work out why I had come back.

Billy came to me and told he was leaving. He didn't tell me to come, he knew I would already. And he was right. My love for her was too great. I knew that seeing me would bring a smile to her face. I couldn't not go. It would be worth it, for just the few seconds of peace and pleasure I got in her presence before I would have to give her back, and the pain would start up again. And ultimately so would the running. And my dreams would continue to be laced with thoughts of the one prize that was worth too much to lose, and which in the end, was lost to a world I would never know.

I stood up and walked out the door. I went to my old car and I drove to my friends. They got in silently, knowing I might need them. They didn't say anything as we drove.

When we got to the big house of the Cullen's, we got out silently and crept around the back silently. We stood in the shadows and I watched as she danced in front of me, for real this time and once more, the mental pictures I took of her blinded me and burned me as I saw her smile at the one person she loved. Not me.

_Bloodsucker, get Bella over here. _

I tried to be slightly civilised in my thoughts but now that I was here, that idea went straight out my brain. He had got her; he had taken her from me. I saw his head snap up and towards me. His eyes narrowed slightly but he bent his head and whispered something to Bella. I forced myself not to get angry with the way he was holding her protectively. She was his now, I could do nothing. I saw her ask him what he was doing as he spun her over to me and then he pushed her into my arms and for once I was grateful to the bloodsucker.

_Thank you._

I said it simply to him, for now I had what I wanted. I was back home. She was in my arms, and grinning wildly. I could feel her touch again and I could brand her to my eyes again for I would always have her with me. My blindness was caused by her and as I began to dance with her I sighed, content for just a few seconds before I would have to leave. I took in every detail of her, memorizing the way she spoke, the way she had a smile just for me. I didn't think of the future. All I thought of was the present, and the girl with her burning arms around me, and her electrifying eyes on mine. Here was where I belonged. With my love in my arms. With Bella. And with a low cry of pain I thought her name one last time. Bella Cullen.

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**Hope you liked! SHout out to Sarah C who wanted me to write a Jacob one-shot!**


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